Okay, well I decided to get a new account, just for the hell of it.
My new account is: ForeverDisowned
So if anyone would like to add me go for it. Currently there is nothing in it though there will be once I can get on the good computer. (I'm on is now but time is limited).

Looking for new entries,
Knowing there are none,
Forever is there knowing,
This life may never be done,
Yet better is a good thing,
It shall get it's reward,
The help from everyone,
The caring from few,
Stupidity of others,
Frustratioin for not knowing,
The difference between us and them,
There is none.

I'm starting to slip
I'm losing my grip
Is it all in my head
Or will I wind up dead
If they really care
Then why are they never there
The visions that surround me
They never let me free
My life has little purpose
Will it help any of us
Am I to close to call
Am I to far to fall
Am I going over the edge
Have I already tripped over the hedge
If the hedge is life
Then where is mine or is it my knife
I'm to close to call
I'm to far to fall
I hit with a soft thud
And that is all I am in the mud
Life is but a dream
Mine is almost gone or so it would seem

As the world forever turn
My mind is forever buzzing
Things good and bad can't leave
For leaving is like a sin
The blood I felt drip
The rope I felt around me neck
The pills i felt go down
The way I felt myself fall
The bleach I tasted burn my throat
All the ways I dreamed
How very real they seemed
It really is terrifying
The thought of how interesing it would be
The realization that I liked it
The shocking wake into reality and finding that I'm not dead
Why do I dream the things I do
They say dreams are what you want in life
If that is true then why would I want that
Why is the only thing that will make me happy knowing
I doubt I ever will know but if I do it could be good or bad
It could be a yes and I would be happy again or a no and I would be lost into a sea of despare and depression
Why must my strings be pulled so
I just want to know the truth
You thought I would hate you for what you did
I would never hate you
You thought I would be mad about it
I could never be mad at anything you do
You thought I would be disgusted by it
I will never be disgusted by anything about you
You thought everything wrong
I will always love you as you said the same for me
Yet you are never here and are gone when I come near
Why must you run if it's true
Do you feel the same about me as I do about you
Life is so confusing
Why aren't you here to ease this pain away
I feel better when your there
But lately you never are
Jesus loves you more then you will know
Did you know I'm Jesus
Did you know that she wasn't lieing when she said I loved you
Did you know I want to be happy again
Did you know the last time I was happy was when I realized I love you
Did you know that before that I can't rememeber the last time I was happy
Did you know how much I care about you
Did you know that if you aren't there I will never be happy
Did you know I love you more then I love myself
"You can never truely love anyone esle until you learn to love yourself"
Your all I think about
She said I was obsessed
I just want to know if I'll ever be happy again
I just what to know how you feel about me
I just need to know if I'll ever be yours
I just need to know how much you care
I just need to know you
I need you
The only way for me to live is to live with you
I fucked it up when I left you
I want you back
If you take me back I know I will never leave you
I was stupid for doing that
All I want is for you to come back
I want to be held in your arms
I want to tell you everything
I want to kiss your lips
I want to be with you
I want to have you tell me everything will be okay
I want to be yours
I never want to leave you
I know it was wrong and I know it was stupid
I know I fucked it up but I want you back
I know we need to give it one more try
I know it will work this time
I know it will
I just want you to make me happy, I just want you

I looked you in the eye, just now as you passed. I tried to smile but I couldn't. I don't think you realize all the hurt you've caused, but you stopped looking so happy after I couldn't smile. You did that almost slap thing, oh god how I love that. I miss the way we used to talk. I miss hugging you, I miss that taste of your tongue, and I miss your soft lips. I miss the way you used to show how much you loved me too. I miss you saying "That's why you love me." or "And that's why I love you." I miss how we would watch t.v or movies. They would be boring but I would have fun. Only because I love you, only because you were there. I miss those soft kisses on my neck, funny thing about that is I never let anyone or anything touch my neck, yet I let you. I long for you to do it. I long to lay with you. You sat and watched t.v. I was almost asleep, so comfy in you lap. So secure. Feeling as though you would save me, no matter how lost I get. So safe and so secure. All the things I did with you.I want to be back on your couch, after watching The Exorcist, talking to Dustin yet it felt although he wasn't there. Your hand rubbing my leg, right near the hip. My hand rubbing your arm, so safe, so secure. Wanting only to be with you, wanting you to care, wanting you to be there.